Posted by pupil | Posted in King Smith | Posted on 22-06-2012
Tags: 100 wc by Brier
As I was walking up the stairs I heard a peculiar screeching sound . The noise was terrifying but I still went to investigate were it was coming from . In the corner of my eye, I saw a dark figure , I didn’t know what it was but whatever it ,was it has haunted me from this day on .
I screamed at the top of my voice but no one herd me because the only person who was there was my friend who now lay sprawled ,dead on the floor.The dark figure disappeared into the nights sky.I sat with my friend and cried.
Hello Brier. I loved this piece of writing so much that I read it two or three times. I think this dark figure will haunt me for a long time as well now.
Just read through your work again, and see if you can find one place where you need to replace a comma with a full stop.
Your story made us really sad! You created the emotions really well through your vocabulary choices. Well done!